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Betrayal Of The Highest Order

Betrayal of the highest order

Children are awful.

But you knew that.

One minute they’re dancing on the coffee table in their diapers to the latest Lazy Town groove, and a minute later they’re dating. A boy. Who smells.

One minute they’re lifting their arms above their heads superhero-style as you scoop them up with a big woosh sound effect, and the next they’re spending hours every night staring into a small handheld rectangle and laughing to themselves. What are they laughing at? Oh, it would take too long to explain. Apparently.

One minute they’re depending on you for everything, and just one minute later they go off to college. Successfully. And happily. And buy lots of veggies and no snack food at all for their dorm rooms. Like a responsible… ADULT!

These damn kids. They expire in no time. How dare they just… grow up? I want a refund.

In case you haven’t guessed, our daughter just started her first year at Sheridan College up in Oakville. We talk to her most nights, and we’ve seen her every weekend since. Because we’re clingy and needy.

She, on the other hand, is fine. Sure, she cried when we said goodbye that first day, but she appears to have gotten past it. She already has good friends, joined a bunch of clubs, and is loving her course work.

I, on the other hand, am sitting in a house that is far too… empty.

People invite me out to check out “spooky” locations all the time, hoping I’ll find a ghost or a spirit. They’ll say: “Don’t you sense that creepy vibe? There must be something here!”

And yes, there is often a creepy vibe in those places, but it’s not from spirits. It’s from a space that grew accustomed to a certain level of human presence, and then suddenly had that presence just leave. Now everything feels incomplete, uneven, even spooky… But not because of ghosts. If anything, it’s because there aren’t enough of them.

It’s the void left by the absence of humanity that makes it so creepy.

So right now, my house is pretty damn creepy. Luckily the solution is fairly simple.

I’m going out for ice cream.

Oh, and in case you missed it: the booking portal is back up if you’re ready for your psychic consultation. Check it out!

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