A month ago I was sick and it destroyed me for 3 days. Extremely weak, couldn’t hold a thought steady in my head, feverish. Some interesting hallucinations. And yes, I admit: plenty of whining.
Since then I’ve had a bit of a cough that just won’t leave, and when I asked myself why I was holding on to it I realized that I wanted to remember that weakness; to remember that despite how strong my body feels right now, how focused and sharp my mind is, that it can all be stripped away.
In essence: I must not identify with strength.
As a man, this is difficult. There is nothing more terrifying for a man than to appear weak. It is a primal imperative inside of us that we are not perceived that way by others. It is both genetic and reinforced by everyone around us since a very, very young age. You must be strong, or you are not a man.
And you must, must, must be a man. Whatever that means.
So as I look back at having been sick, I realize that men suffer from illness on a mental level in a way they often don’t even realize is affecting them. When the body fails, when we don’t even have the strength to climb a flight of stairs, we feel helpless. It’s horrific to us on a deep, deep level that we often don’t even have words for. It’s terrifying.
Of course this is the blog for The Psychic Village, and we’re all about enlightenment, so… what’s the fix?
Transcendence, of course. We need to move beyond the whole struggle. We need to realize that strength and weakness are not who we are, they do not define us, they say nothing about our value. The effort here is not to push away strength of course, but to get to a point where you think of it like hair color or the shape of your earlobe: one of those things that doesn’t matter, and in no way defines who you are as a person.
Easier said than done though. I have a feeling I’m gonna need to hang onto this cough for awhile.
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