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We’d Rather You Didn’t Grow, Thank You

You know what bothers us about you? You’re always growing. We really do wish you would stop that.

Don’t you remember the message inscribed at the Oracle of Delphi? The greeks had it right: γνῶθι σεαυτόν. Know thyself.

As far as we’re concerned, that means plant your feet on the ground and be consistent. You see, we have expectations about who you are. We’ve got you pegged. We know you.

And having you nailed down in our minds makes us feel good about ourselves. It makes us feel secure. It makes us feel smart.

So if you go growing like that, you’ll change. Suddenly, you’ll say something or do something that we didn’t predict with our ingenious minds. And that will make us feel dumb, as if there was something about you that we didn’t already know. We don’t like that. We like feeling like we know everything. We like the familiar.

So even though we love you, even though we’re your friends and family, we’d rather not be made to feel uncomfortable by all of this “personal development” and “spiritual growth” that you’ve been doing. It’s awfully inconvenient for us.

Oh, so you think that “know thyself” means something different? It means discovering who you really are, beyond the ego and through your dreams and deepest desires? All of this “growth” that you’re experiencing is really just the revealing of the person you’ve always been, ever since the day you were born?

Well that… that sounds like something we’d like to do ourselves, actually. Now we’re envious. How dare you make us feel envy for something we’re not emotionally prepared to experience ourselves?

No, really, if it’s all the same, please get back in the box we put you in in the first place. If you keep getting out like this, we’ll have to consider becoming more flexible. We certainly can not have that, can we! That means that we’ll be changing and growing too! What a disaster!

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